The Difference Blog by Dan4th ([info]differenceblog) wrote,
@ 2006-10-25 08:05:00
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Entry tags:brad sagarin, bram buunk, cheating, christine harris, david buss, david desteno, emotional infidelity, gender differences, infidelity, jealousy, martie haselton, pieternel dijkstra, sex, sex differences, sexual infidelity, todd shackelford

The jealous type
Christine R. Harris discusses a popular theory of sexual jealousy in her 2003 review; it is widely believed that jealousy was an evolutionary strategy, where sexual jealousy addresses cuckoldry and emotional jealousy is meant to prevent resource loss. Therefore, it is thought that men demonstrate more sexual jealousy than women, and women more emotional jealousy than men. However, Harris doesn't believe that the experimental data confirm this theory. Buss and Haselton (2005), on the other hand, claim that at least 13 hypothesized sex differences in jealousy have been experimentally confirmed.

A look at some of the experimental research suggests that the form of the questions may be introducing bias. Shackelford et al. (2002) presented forced-choice propositions to 256 participants, and found that men were more likely to leave their partner over sexual infidelity, whereas women were more likely to leave over emotional infidelity. Dijkstra and Buunk (2002) reported finding that men were more threatened by rivals who were higher in social status or physical dominance, whereas women were more threatened by rivals who were physically attractive. Criticisms of the forced-choice experimental model are offered by DeSteno et al (2002). Sagarin et al. (2003) suggest that infidelity experience and sexual orientation of the infidelity may be moderating factors in jealousy.



I'm actually a fairly jealous person, I think. People find that surprising, because I live a polyamorous (non-mongamous) lifestyle. Maybe Sagarin et al are right; I've been a cheater more than once. Maybe I don't understand the depth of emotion that other people experience during a jealous episode. I think I do tend more towards emotional jealousy than physical jealousy, but I've never dated a man who didn't. However, I can't think of a single instance where both aspects weren't present. The suggestion that sexual orientation of the infidelity reduces jealousy confuses me, but I know I've heard similar lines of reasoning from people's personal lives. This is one of the areas where I feel like I have a lot of experience, and very little understanding.


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[info]lovecraftienne
2006-10-25 01:31 pm UTC (link)
This is one area where I count myself very lucky. I cheated once, and only once - in fact, it was more "trying to cheat" than actually doing anything, but the tryee reported to my then-primary, and that buggered that well and proper, which taught me never to cheat again.

But the lucky part is, I don't get jealous. I never have. I occasionally have a small amount of envy when one of my partners is getting more sex or more fun than I am, but it's clearly envy (I want what you have) rather than jealousy (I want you not to have that). I don't know why this is so, but it was so before surgery, before transition, and remains true now so many years later. I just never got the instruction set that says "You own your partner - behave accordingly".

It certainly helps to make me good at poly. I'm a sucker for a wave of compersion.

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[info]laurenhat
2006-10-26 03:46 am UTC (link)
Are they claiming that all of these 13 hypothesized sex differences have biological bases?

I can be rather jealous. Being poly just means that I'd rather find ways to work through it than to assume that it's a big red light saying "Stop doing that now."

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